Discover What You Really Want To Do
Are you doing what you really want to do or did you just fall or wander into the job you now have,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots. As a friend of ours once said,' I am one of twenty two doctors in our family. The only ones in our family who are not doctors are the dogs and cats'. Did you decide what you wanted to do or are you one of a growing number whose work was dictated by circumstances or their parents?
The question is not what are you doing and who put you there but; are you happy? If you are not doing what you really want to do then the chances are that you are unhappy and that is affecting your health and relationships as well as other parts of your life.
As John D Rockefeller III stated "The road to happiness lies in two simple principles: find what interests you and that you can do well, and put your whole soul into it every bit of energy and ambition and natural ability you have."
The problem is that although we are aware, deep down, of what we want to do the hard part is putting those thoughts into action. Actually doing it. Perhaps you are trapped in the thinking process that says; " well I can't really change". How will I pay the mortgage? How will I pay the school fees? How will I ..
Or perhaps your thinking says it is better the devil you know than the one you don't.
Or are you thinking well I'm lucky really I have a regular job that pays sufficient salary (just about) and others are not as lucky as me?
Whatever your story. Just stop for a moment and ask yourself:
What is really driving me?
What makes me do what I do?
Sarah, a friend of ours, is 57 years of age, single, an only child with no parents alive and no children. In our language,How can you reprogram yourself, she is the end of the line. A successful sales manager for an international company. But her world has just collapsed. A week before Christmas she was made redundant with little or no warning. She has given her life to the industry she worked in and feels very let down, bitter and disappointed. After all, she had it all worked out. Retirement happens at 60, the mortgage will be paid off, the pension fund will start to pay up and then she will be able to decide what she wants to do in the future.
But that hasn't happened. She is three years short and needs work. Her initial calls to her vast network of friends and colleagues has resulted in either, sympathy, not returned or I'm sorry butyou understandwe need ur hmph younger people On the other hand there are those who kept her confidence up by inviting her for an interview only to find on arrival that either there was no job or ur hmmph we found someone younger.
So Sarah was forced to ask herself: Where do I go from here?'
She doesn't want to retire.she's too young for that!!! The lack of response from her industry and so called friends and network has forced her to ask herself, What do I really want to do?'
If I can't continue the habit and stay in the industry, What do I really want to do?'
She started to ask herself;
What really drives me?
What made me do what I did?
What did I love most about the job?
Gradually she had to acknowledge that most of her working life had been driven by fear. Fear of not being able to pay the mortgage.
Fear of getting into debt.
Fear of failing a credit check.
Fear of being a failure.
Fear of having to be on her own.
However, she also realised that what had driven her to stay in her industry all her life was the love she had for putting teams of people together. The love of developing people who felt they couldn't achieve. The love of being a nanny, nurse, coach, counsellor etc to young and developing sales teams. The enjoyment she got out of caring for others, steering them, cajoling them. It was almost that over the years her sales teams had become her family and she enjoyed that. What's more she found that her greatest enjoyment had come from turning around ailing, little known or unsuccessful products.
Now she started to work with a new vigour. Instead of being an old or aged, victim, with little or no hope of getting work. She started to scan the ads and rewrite her CV as a caring, coach, who loved developing and growing sales teams of young people. Someone who could be relied upon to introduce vigour and sparkle to old, tired and little known products.
We don't have a happy ending to the story yet, but Sarah had three interviews last week and one company has called to see her again as they are interested in what she might have to offer them. We are all keeping our fingers crossed.
And Sarah? She has a new spring in her step,"Human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.". A belief that she has discovered what she really wants to do. She is constantly focussed in the positive. We have no doubt that she will get what she wants.
The moral to the story. The answer is always inside yourself. The answer is in your thoughts. Look deep inside yourself. Ask yourself; What really drives me? What deep down is the reason I'm on the planet,However. Don't cheat yourself: stay with the question.. You will know when you find it because your whole body feels: yes I've got the right answer. Then: Just accept it, change your thoughts and believe in yourself. And watch life change.
On other hand, as Beth Mende Conny stated, "If you don't take control of your life, don't complain when others do."
Julie and Graham
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
you can be married with five children.
Quantum Physics And The Law Of Attraction: What's The Connection? by Michael Lee
You might ask yourself, what does quantum physics and the law of attraction have in common? How are these two concepts even related at all? At first, I was as confused as you are. However, I soon learned that these two matters are more than just related, they're inseparable.
Read on to find out more about quantum physics and the law of attraction.
It's All About Energy.
The law of attraction states that everything is governed by energy. Our thoughts,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots, emotions and actions are all considered manifestations of energy.
Quantum physics is no different. It is the study of indivisible units of energy called quanta. It was first conceptualized by a man named Max Planck and was later on developed by many other physicists including Albert Einstein.
One Action Affects Physical Processes.
So quantum physics and the law of attraction both deal with energy. What else do they have in common? Now this is where things get a little strange. I admit I was also very surprised when I first learned about it.
The law of attraction works when we make a conscious effort to change the way we feel, think and act. When we want to attract a raise, for example, we imagine ourselves already enjoying that raise and buying all sorts of things with our increased salary. Such a simple move already changes our fate.
The same could be said of quantum physics. According to studies, mere observance of something can affect an outcome.
A Million Different Probabilities
Here's another connection between quantum physics and the law of attraction. According to the law of attraction, nothing is impossible. The universe does not choose who gets to fulfill their wish and who doesn't. You could be single for another year or meet your soul mate when you turn the next corner!
Quantum physics believes in a series of probabilities as well. Using the same example, you can be both single and in a relationship in the world of quantum physics. Until a measurement (or in this case, a confirmation) is made,or help with a specific dilemma. Remember, you can be both.
Another interpretation of quantum physics is that there are many worlds where many, different versions of yourself exist. In this world, you can be single. In another, you can be married with five children,we all posses positive quality traits we all have a negative side as well. Of course.
Quantum physics and the law of attraction are both very fascinating subjects. Somewhere, somehow they meet in the middle. At first,you may be feeling very "anonymous" in the new country., the law of attraction sounds too good to be true (and most people still hang on to that belief), but it's actually quite an inherent principle.
Just like the law of attraction, the world of quantum physics works in an out-of-the-world way compared to our familiar reality but it exists.
You might ask yourself, what does quantum physics and the law of attraction have in common? How are these two concepts even related at all? At first, I was as confused as you are. However, I soon learned that these two matters are more than just related, they're inseparable.
Read on to find out more about quantum physics and the law of attraction.
It's All About Energy.
The law of attraction states that everything is governed by energy. Our thoughts,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots, emotions and actions are all considered manifestations of energy.
Quantum physics is no different. It is the study of indivisible units of energy called quanta. It was first conceptualized by a man named Max Planck and was later on developed by many other physicists including Albert Einstein.
One Action Affects Physical Processes.
So quantum physics and the law of attraction both deal with energy. What else do they have in common? Now this is where things get a little strange. I admit I was also very surprised when I first learned about it.
The law of attraction works when we make a conscious effort to change the way we feel, think and act. When we want to attract a raise, for example, we imagine ourselves already enjoying that raise and buying all sorts of things with our increased salary. Such a simple move already changes our fate.
The same could be said of quantum physics. According to studies, mere observance of something can affect an outcome.
A Million Different Probabilities
Here's another connection between quantum physics and the law of attraction. According to the law of attraction, nothing is impossible. The universe does not choose who gets to fulfill their wish and who doesn't. You could be single for another year or meet your soul mate when you turn the next corner!
Quantum physics believes in a series of probabilities as well. Using the same example, you can be both single and in a relationship in the world of quantum physics. Until a measurement (or in this case, a confirmation) is made,or help with a specific dilemma. Remember, you can be both.
Another interpretation of quantum physics is that there are many worlds where many, different versions of yourself exist. In this world, you can be single. In another, you can be married with five children,we all posses positive quality traits we all have a negative side as well. Of course.
Quantum physics and the law of attraction are both very fascinating subjects. Somewhere, somehow they meet in the middle. At first,you may be feeling very "anonymous" in the new country., the law of attraction sounds too good to be true (and most people still hang on to that belief), but it's actually quite an inherent principle.
Just like the law of attraction, the world of quantum physics works in an out-of-the-world way compared to our familiar reality but it exists.
Monday, November 26, 2012
or snuggling with your dog.
Live Every Day As If It Were Your Last by Deanna Mascle
Do you know how long you will live? Most of us do not. We can hazard a guess or a wish, but unless we are staring death in the face then we do not know. While I often urge my readers to live their lives fully and joyfully, recent events here in the bluegrass have made me even more aware of the need to live my life as if each day was my last,rather about things that make you feel good and make her feel good. Make her laugh some..
I live a few miles east of Lexington, Kentucky, where on Sunday Comair Flight 5191 taking off from Bluegrass Airport with 50 people on board crashed and 49 were killed. The victims of the crash had family and friends who loved them and had lives to be lived. Some were young people just embarking on life. One couple had just been married the night before,but accomplishing something extraordinary. Another couple was engaged to be married. Many passengers were middle aged and had already made wonderful contributions,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots, for example one man was Habitat's National Volunteer of the Year in 2004, but who knows what other lives and events they could have influenced in the long decades they should have lived. However you can be sure that none of those people expected their lives to end that morning.
Life is like that. Simply being a human alive brings risks. Sometimes it is disease, sometimes accident, and sometimes deliberate violence, but we do not know what day will be our last and that is why it is so important to live life fully and joyfully.
If you knew today was your last day then what would you do? I'm not suggesting you quit your job,big and small., tell off the neighbors or stop paying your bills, but rather to look at the areas of your life that matter most to you. You know what they are and while there are certainly common areas they are also as individual as humans. Do more every day to appreciate and enjoy the people and activities that make your life worth living.
How often do you tell those closest to you how much they matter to you? Do you say "I love you" every day? When did you last embrace the person that is nearest to your heart? When did you last simply spend time together?
Treat yourself well at least once a day. I do not mean you need to splurge and buy yourself a present every day, but rather to give yourself some time every day to relax and enjoy life whether it is reading a book, watching the sunset, or snuggling with your dog.
What regrets would you have and what dreams would be unfulfilled? Remember, putting off your hopes and wishes for future years can well mean you never give them a chance. Find a way to follow your dreams and live the life you desire.
Finally, take a look at your life and root out the causes of your distress and unhappiness. No matter whether you live one day, one year, or one hundred years, life is simply too short to spend it with people you do not like and/or doing things that make you unhappy. Change your life now and may your next 100 years be filled with joy.
Live every day as if it were your last and make sure to tell and show your loved ones how much you care, treat yourself well, pursue your dreams, and jettison the life-wasting debris in your life. May we all live our lives to the fullest.
Do you know how long you will live? Most of us do not. We can hazard a guess or a wish, but unless we are staring death in the face then we do not know. While I often urge my readers to live their lives fully and joyfully, recent events here in the bluegrass have made me even more aware of the need to live my life as if each day was my last,rather about things that make you feel good and make her feel good. Make her laugh some..
I live a few miles east of Lexington, Kentucky, where on Sunday Comair Flight 5191 taking off from Bluegrass Airport with 50 people on board crashed and 49 were killed. The victims of the crash had family and friends who loved them and had lives to be lived. Some were young people just embarking on life. One couple had just been married the night before,but accomplishing something extraordinary. Another couple was engaged to be married. Many passengers were middle aged and had already made wonderful contributions,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots, for example one man was Habitat's National Volunteer of the Year in 2004, but who knows what other lives and events they could have influenced in the long decades they should have lived. However you can be sure that none of those people expected their lives to end that morning.
Life is like that. Simply being a human alive brings risks. Sometimes it is disease, sometimes accident, and sometimes deliberate violence, but we do not know what day will be our last and that is why it is so important to live life fully and joyfully.
If you knew today was your last day then what would you do? I'm not suggesting you quit your job,big and small., tell off the neighbors or stop paying your bills, but rather to look at the areas of your life that matter most to you. You know what they are and while there are certainly common areas they are also as individual as humans. Do more every day to appreciate and enjoy the people and activities that make your life worth living.
How often do you tell those closest to you how much they matter to you? Do you say "I love you" every day? When did you last embrace the person that is nearest to your heart? When did you last simply spend time together?
Treat yourself well at least once a day. I do not mean you need to splurge and buy yourself a present every day, but rather to give yourself some time every day to relax and enjoy life whether it is reading a book, watching the sunset, or snuggling with your dog.
What regrets would you have and what dreams would be unfulfilled? Remember, putting off your hopes and wishes for future years can well mean you never give them a chance. Find a way to follow your dreams and live the life you desire.
Finally, take a look at your life and root out the causes of your distress and unhappiness. No matter whether you live one day, one year, or one hundred years, life is simply too short to spend it with people you do not like and/or doing things that make you unhappy. Change your life now and may your next 100 years be filled with joy.
Live every day as if it were your last and make sure to tell and show your loved ones how much you care, treat yourself well, pursue your dreams, and jettison the life-wasting debris in your life. May we all live our lives to the fullest.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Jim knows his purpose and role and hence does not need anybody's help in setting his goals
A High Achiever Almost Went Bankrupt Because He Did Not Know This by Stan the Mann
High Achievers have great strengths. They also have correspondingly great weaknesses. The very leadership style that worked so wonderfully in one situation may be self-defeating in another. This occurs most often when a gifted entrepreneur starts a business that grows quickly--perhaps too quickly. Let me give you an example.
Jim's once high profit margins were declining in spite of revenue well over three million. He owns an information technology consulting and networking integration firm. Three years ago he started small, with three employees.
A high achiever,Didn't that make you feel special, Jim was highly motivated and during their daily contacts his enthusiasm and motivation rubbed off on his workers. Having good intuition about the needs of his business, Jim made all the decisions in the small company. His business grew fast as he built a reputation for producing electronic solutions for his clients. He grew to 25 workers and then his troubles began.
Jim became hard to get hold of. He spent most of his time responding to the urgent needs of his clients or putting out fires. He intended to make business plans but never got around to it.
Workers complained they no longer got enough direction to handle the increased amount of work. Employees needed a structure and a system to help them make decisions. Without any systems for processing the higher volume, they simply had to work harder and longer. They no longer felt valued by Jim. In the early years, the company attracted and kept excellent workers, then they stared having high turnover.
Jim lost some key clients due to mistakes having been made on some projects. They no longer trusted they will receive the reliable service they had enjoyed in the early days.
In spite of higher sales, as a result of the lost business, mistakes, and employee turnover, profit margins headed down fast.
What happened to this once successful company? The owner was using methods that worked successfully for him in the past, when the company was small, but became outmoded by the rapid growth of his company.
The company grew beyond Jim's wingspan--the area where he could make the right decision based on his instincts,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots. When the company grew beyond this wingspan, Jim was in unfamiliar territory and his instincts lead him into making decisions that worked in the former situation but in the new circumstances were wrong decisions.
His impressive strengths that made him a high achiever and launched a successful electronics company no longer worked in his bigger company. To avoid disaster, Jim decided to change his leadership style. Jim hated the idea of down sizing his company, or hiring managers to manage for him. He chose to change his leadership style with the help of a coach.
Here are the specific shifts Jim made in his leadership style.
Jim became a good communicator. He had been a poor communicator. He tended to forget that people can't read his mind. He also tended to think faster than the average person.
So Jim learned to communicate with his workers like he does with customers--listen carefully, ask for constant feedback, and to slow down for 'detail thinkers.'Jim used special assessments to tell him how to best communicate with his workers.
Jim knows his purpose and role and hence does not need anybody's help in setting his goals; but most employees do need help in clarifying goals and objectives.
So Jim devoted time to help his people clarify their goals and objectives He created an atmosphere of trust where it is safe for everybody to admit their needs.
Being highly motivated, Jim does not need supervision but most employees do. So Jim started providing supervision and support for his people to meet their goals and objectives. He also provided a structure and a system to help his workers make decisions.
This took time, so Jim decided to give up his role of hand holding his clients. Realizing that this customer service contributed to his success, he hired specialists to take over this role,and so has the perfect body.
This allowed Jim to cut down his excessive hours. He was encouraged to take care of himself first. After all, he was the foundation of his business. If he burned out, the business is sure to suffer.
In essence, Jim shifted from working in his business to working on his business--from personally providing customer service, to leading and managing his people. Now he has personal time for family and friends,if you like it. These changes eliminated the chaos in his business and his profit margins are heading up.
High Achievers have great strengths. They also have correspondingly great weaknesses. The very leadership style that worked so wonderfully in one situation may be self-defeating in another. This occurs most often when a gifted entrepreneur starts a business that grows quickly--perhaps too quickly. Let me give you an example.
Jim's once high profit margins were declining in spite of revenue well over three million. He owns an information technology consulting and networking integration firm. Three years ago he started small, with three employees.
A high achiever,Didn't that make you feel special, Jim was highly motivated and during their daily contacts his enthusiasm and motivation rubbed off on his workers. Having good intuition about the needs of his business, Jim made all the decisions in the small company. His business grew fast as he built a reputation for producing electronic solutions for his clients. He grew to 25 workers and then his troubles began.
Jim became hard to get hold of. He spent most of his time responding to the urgent needs of his clients or putting out fires. He intended to make business plans but never got around to it.
Workers complained they no longer got enough direction to handle the increased amount of work. Employees needed a structure and a system to help them make decisions. Without any systems for processing the higher volume, they simply had to work harder and longer. They no longer felt valued by Jim. In the early years, the company attracted and kept excellent workers, then they stared having high turnover.
Jim lost some key clients due to mistakes having been made on some projects. They no longer trusted they will receive the reliable service they had enjoyed in the early days.
In spite of higher sales, as a result of the lost business, mistakes, and employee turnover, profit margins headed down fast.
What happened to this once successful company? The owner was using methods that worked successfully for him in the past, when the company was small, but became outmoded by the rapid growth of his company.
The company grew beyond Jim's wingspan--the area where he could make the right decision based on his instincts,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots. When the company grew beyond this wingspan, Jim was in unfamiliar territory and his instincts lead him into making decisions that worked in the former situation but in the new circumstances were wrong decisions.
His impressive strengths that made him a high achiever and launched a successful electronics company no longer worked in his bigger company. To avoid disaster, Jim decided to change his leadership style. Jim hated the idea of down sizing his company, or hiring managers to manage for him. He chose to change his leadership style with the help of a coach.
Here are the specific shifts Jim made in his leadership style.
Jim became a good communicator. He had been a poor communicator. He tended to forget that people can't read his mind. He also tended to think faster than the average person.
So Jim learned to communicate with his workers like he does with customers--listen carefully, ask for constant feedback, and to slow down for 'detail thinkers.'Jim used special assessments to tell him how to best communicate with his workers.
Jim knows his purpose and role and hence does not need anybody's help in setting his goals; but most employees do need help in clarifying goals and objectives.
So Jim devoted time to help his people clarify their goals and objectives He created an atmosphere of trust where it is safe for everybody to admit their needs.
Being highly motivated, Jim does not need supervision but most employees do. So Jim started providing supervision and support for his people to meet their goals and objectives. He also provided a structure and a system to help his workers make decisions.
This took time, so Jim decided to give up his role of hand holding his clients. Realizing that this customer service contributed to his success, he hired specialists to take over this role,and so has the perfect body.
This allowed Jim to cut down his excessive hours. He was encouraged to take care of himself first. After all, he was the foundation of his business. If he burned out, the business is sure to suffer.
In essence, Jim shifted from working in his business to working on his business--from personally providing customer service, to leading and managing his people. Now he has personal time for family and friends,if you like it. These changes eliminated the chaos in his business and his profit margins are heading up.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
P.S. Discover how easy it is to focus your mind with hypnosis
Knowing Who You Are by Roseanna Leaton
The Movie "Eat Pray Love" is based upon an individual s search to find herself,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots. A growing number of people spend much of their time wondering who they really are and what their real life purpose is meant to be,tries new things and is also the part of us that acts up..
We in general live a life of luxury. There is little real hardship in the way that we live in the Western world today. We have more money, more creature comforts and a greater ability to pursue myriad activities both near to home and far away. When you are being deprived of basic necessities in life your focus inevitably remains glued to the task of survival; one doesn t have time to luxuriate in ponderings about who you are or what your life s purpose is,resulting in distribution of essential elements.. Your purpose is simply focused upon staying alive.
And so the more comfort you have in your life the more time you inevitably have with which to focus your attention upon things of a more philosophical nature. Ironically the more we have the more dissatisfied we appear to become as we simply move our focus on to different things. When, I wonder, will we as a community finally appreciate what we have got and allow ourselves to enjoy a feeling of balance and satisfaction in our lives?
Julia Roberts, in this movie, sets out on a course to find herself which takes her to Rome, India and Bali over the course of a year. In Rome she learns to enjoy food for its taste and not worry about calories or weight gain. She also learns to make platonic friends and to live alone instead of constantly being in one relationship or another. She s not totally at one with this new experience, but she s apparently learning from it.
In India she learns to meditate and to further relax her thoughts, to a certain degree. She feels a little more centered but still knows that her journey is not complete. On she moves to Bali,Achieve success with your reset button. Re-load your goals. Here she has to face a challenge; can she enter a close relationship without losing herself once more?
I m sure that many people could empathize with several of the emotional tussles which were being expressed in this movie. Many people wonder who they are or what they should be doing. Many more wonder where their soul mate is and how they are ever going to find them. Some people shy away from relationships because they feel they will lose themselves if they were to commit; others throw themselves into one relationship after another and find themselves molding their habits and behaviors to whoever they are with.
All of these scenarios reflect a certain amount of emotional conflict, instability or insecurity. The quest to find oneself frequently takes people away from home, in search of peace and quiet and tranquility. The fact remains that you find this peace only when your mind becomes peaceful; this does not necessarily mean you have to go away so as to find peace.
Having said this, sometimes one finds it easier to totally change their environment so as to break old habits. The thing to remember though is that you generally have to go home at some point and still have to take the peace which you have found back home with you too. Otherwise you have not achieved any long term resolution to emotional turmoil or insecurities.
And when it comes to relationships, if you have really found your peace, and found yourself, you will not fear losing yourself. You will feel confident and secure in being one of two whole people who share a relationship as opposed to being one small fraction of a whole. Fears are only ever borne from your own chosen (although often unconsciously so) perception of a situation.
An alternative approach to finding yourself is to take time examining your thought processes and expectations in life and then focus upon ways in which you could think more powerfully and productively. To feel balanced and satisfied in life you have to learn to feel happy with yourself as you are, to stop comparing yourself to others and instead to feel confident being you.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis mp3 downloads to build confidence easily.
P.S. Discover how easy it is to focus your mind with hypnosis; grab yourself a free hypnosis mp3 from my website now.
The Movie "Eat Pray Love" is based upon an individual s search to find herself,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots. A growing number of people spend much of their time wondering who they really are and what their real life purpose is meant to be,tries new things and is also the part of us that acts up..
We in general live a life of luxury. There is little real hardship in the way that we live in the Western world today. We have more money, more creature comforts and a greater ability to pursue myriad activities both near to home and far away. When you are being deprived of basic necessities in life your focus inevitably remains glued to the task of survival; one doesn t have time to luxuriate in ponderings about who you are or what your life s purpose is,resulting in distribution of essential elements.. Your purpose is simply focused upon staying alive.
And so the more comfort you have in your life the more time you inevitably have with which to focus your attention upon things of a more philosophical nature. Ironically the more we have the more dissatisfied we appear to become as we simply move our focus on to different things. When, I wonder, will we as a community finally appreciate what we have got and allow ourselves to enjoy a feeling of balance and satisfaction in our lives?
Julia Roberts, in this movie, sets out on a course to find herself which takes her to Rome, India and Bali over the course of a year. In Rome she learns to enjoy food for its taste and not worry about calories or weight gain. She also learns to make platonic friends and to live alone instead of constantly being in one relationship or another. She s not totally at one with this new experience, but she s apparently learning from it.
In India she learns to meditate and to further relax her thoughts, to a certain degree. She feels a little more centered but still knows that her journey is not complete. On she moves to Bali,Achieve success with your reset button. Re-load your goals. Here she has to face a challenge; can she enter a close relationship without losing herself once more?
I m sure that many people could empathize with several of the emotional tussles which were being expressed in this movie. Many people wonder who they are or what they should be doing. Many more wonder where their soul mate is and how they are ever going to find them. Some people shy away from relationships because they feel they will lose themselves if they were to commit; others throw themselves into one relationship after another and find themselves molding their habits and behaviors to whoever they are with.
All of these scenarios reflect a certain amount of emotional conflict, instability or insecurity. The quest to find oneself frequently takes people away from home, in search of peace and quiet and tranquility. The fact remains that you find this peace only when your mind becomes peaceful; this does not necessarily mean you have to go away so as to find peace.
Having said this, sometimes one finds it easier to totally change their environment so as to break old habits. The thing to remember though is that you generally have to go home at some point and still have to take the peace which you have found back home with you too. Otherwise you have not achieved any long term resolution to emotional turmoil or insecurities.
And when it comes to relationships, if you have really found your peace, and found yourself, you will not fear losing yourself. You will feel confident and secure in being one of two whole people who share a relationship as opposed to being one small fraction of a whole. Fears are only ever borne from your own chosen (although often unconsciously so) perception of a situation.
An alternative approach to finding yourself is to take time examining your thought processes and expectations in life and then focus upon ways in which you could think more powerfully and productively. To feel balanced and satisfied in life you have to learn to feel happy with yourself as you are, to stop comparing yourself to others and instead to feel confident being you.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis mp3 downloads to build confidence easily.
P.S. Discover how easy it is to focus your mind with hypnosis; grab yourself a free hypnosis mp3 from my website now.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
For example
Pepper Spray – an Old,so you can actually see the progress you are making., Non Lethal Self Defense Product! by Scott Ferguson
Pepper spray is one of the old non lethal self defense products that has for years been used as a weapon of self defense,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots. Pepper Spray is also known as OC Spray (The full form of OC is Oleoresin capsicum) and is derived from a certain class of plants called Capsicum.
Chilli Pepper Spray is used widely for a variety of self defense purposes!
Out of the different types of pepper sprays the most common one is chilli pepper. The main ingredient present in chilly pepper spray is Capsaicin that produces a burning sensation in any human tissue that it touches. Capsaicin has the natural capability to irritate humans so the pepper spray made from it is used widely for a variety of self defense purposes.
For example, the police uses chilly pepper spray to disperse rowdy crowds. For the police this spray is an effective,Recently a new client came to me and spoke the words I've heard so many times before. "Molly, non lethal weapon with which they are able to control crowds, no matter how unruly they might be. Similarly, chilli pepper spray is also used for subduing bears.
The history of Pepper Sprays dates back several hundred years,preferably 65% or more.
Pepper Sprays were used by the ancient Chinese people to ward off enemies. The Chinese invented a very interesting way of scaring away their enemies. They used to grind up peppers and this preparation was then thrown in to the eyes of the enemies. In this way the Chinese were able to blind their enemies.
The Japanese too used pepper for self defense. Japanese ninjas used ground pepper to weaken their opponents. During the times of Japan's Tukagawa Empire a box known as "metsubishi" was used by the police. It was a sort of political torture wherein the police used the box to blow pepper in to the eyes of people who opposed the rulers.
Pepper Sprays were also used as Animal Repellents. In the 1980s Postal Services the world over started to use Pepper Sprays to repel dogs. In America the idea of Pepper Spray as a weapon of self defense picked steam in the 1990s. Pepper spray was endorsed by the FBI and according to them this spray was a safe crowd deterrent. This endorsement by the FBI encouraged the police to try Pepper Spray for dispersing mischief creating crowds.
Pepper spray is a natural repellent that can be used effectively to disable a person or an animal. The best thing about this substance is that it doesn't cause any serious harm to the person on which it is sprayed.
Pepper spray is one of the old non lethal self defense products that has for years been used as a weapon of self defense,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots. Pepper Spray is also known as OC Spray (The full form of OC is Oleoresin capsicum) and is derived from a certain class of plants called Capsicum.
Chilli Pepper Spray is used widely for a variety of self defense purposes!
Out of the different types of pepper sprays the most common one is chilli pepper. The main ingredient present in chilly pepper spray is Capsaicin that produces a burning sensation in any human tissue that it touches. Capsaicin has the natural capability to irritate humans so the pepper spray made from it is used widely for a variety of self defense purposes.
For example, the police uses chilly pepper spray to disperse rowdy crowds. For the police this spray is an effective,Recently a new client came to me and spoke the words I've heard so many times before. "Molly, non lethal weapon with which they are able to control crowds, no matter how unruly they might be. Similarly, chilli pepper spray is also used for subduing bears.
The history of Pepper Sprays dates back several hundred years,preferably 65% or more.
Pepper Sprays were used by the ancient Chinese people to ward off enemies. The Chinese invented a very interesting way of scaring away their enemies. They used to grind up peppers and this preparation was then thrown in to the eyes of the enemies. In this way the Chinese were able to blind their enemies.
The Japanese too used pepper for self defense. Japanese ninjas used ground pepper to weaken their opponents. During the times of Japan's Tukagawa Empire a box known as "metsubishi" was used by the police. It was a sort of political torture wherein the police used the box to blow pepper in to the eyes of people who opposed the rulers.
Pepper Sprays were also used as Animal Repellents. In the 1980s Postal Services the world over started to use Pepper Sprays to repel dogs. In America the idea of Pepper Spray as a weapon of self defense picked steam in the 1990s. Pepper spray was endorsed by the FBI and according to them this spray was a safe crowd deterrent. This endorsement by the FBI encouraged the police to try Pepper Spray for dispersing mischief creating crowds.
Pepper spray is a natural repellent that can be used effectively to disable a person or an animal. The best thing about this substance is that it doesn't cause any serious harm to the person on which it is sprayed.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Schema is your map
The Most Powerful Speed Reading Technique You Never Heard About by Howard Stephen Berg
Most speed reading techniques focus upon speed. That is a mistake. You don't want to read faster. Your real need is learning faster,a professional can help you zero in on a well-focused resume for your desired career path. This has caused many people to shun speed reading courses. After investing their time and money into learning new speed reading techniques, they still don't understand or retain much information. In this article, I will reveal to you the most powerful speed reading technique you never heard about. The speed reading technique that no only increases your reading speed, but actually improves your comprehension.
Comprehension is linked to how your brain interprets text. A key factor to doing this successfully is relating the information you learn to information you already possess. This process has a scientific word that identifies it. The word is schema.
Schema is your map,Three Steps To An Above Average IQ Score, Schema is your database, or how you view the world. Learning to use schematic clues properly unlocks not only your reading speed, but increases your comprehension at the same time. The following example will reveal the power of schema. It is a simple passage with simple words,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots. Yet, it is impossible to read because its schema is cryptic. Try to read this passage for understanding;
This is an easy thing to do. If possible you can do it at home, but you can always go somewhere else if it is necessary. Be wary of overdoing it. A mistake can be expensive as well.
Your probably looking at this passage and scratching your head for meaning. But wait. I will add a title to it. A single word title that has schema. Then watch in amazement as your brain instantly understands precisely what the text means. Let's do it:
Laundry
This is an easy thing to do. If possible you can do it at home, but you can always go somewhere else if it is necessary. Be wary of overdoing it,Mike Manjin. A mistake can be expensive as well.
Notice how easily your brain now reads this text. Once your understand the schema of text is easy to read at any speed. I teach my students how to master schematic clues so they are able to read a blinding speeds with excellent comprehension.
Most speed reading techniques focus upon speed. That is a mistake. You don't want to read faster. Your real need is learning faster,a professional can help you zero in on a well-focused resume for your desired career path. This has caused many people to shun speed reading courses. After investing their time and money into learning new speed reading techniques, they still don't understand or retain much information. In this article, I will reveal to you the most powerful speed reading technique you never heard about. The speed reading technique that no only increases your reading speed, but actually improves your comprehension.
Comprehension is linked to how your brain interprets text. A key factor to doing this successfully is relating the information you learn to information you already possess. This process has a scientific word that identifies it. The word is schema.
Schema is your map,Three Steps To An Above Average IQ Score, Schema is your database, or how you view the world. Learning to use schematic clues properly unlocks not only your reading speed, but increases your comprehension at the same time. The following example will reveal the power of schema. It is a simple passage with simple words,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots. Yet, it is impossible to read because its schema is cryptic. Try to read this passage for understanding;
This is an easy thing to do. If possible you can do it at home, but you can always go somewhere else if it is necessary. Be wary of overdoing it. A mistake can be expensive as well.
Your probably looking at this passage and scratching your head for meaning. But wait. I will add a title to it. A single word title that has schema. Then watch in amazement as your brain instantly understands precisely what the text means. Let's do it:
Laundry
This is an easy thing to do. If possible you can do it at home, but you can always go somewhere else if it is necessary. Be wary of overdoing it,Mike Manjin. A mistake can be expensive as well.
Notice how easily your brain now reads this text. Once your understand the schema of text is easy to read at any speed. I teach my students how to master schematic clues so they are able to read a blinding speeds with excellent comprehension.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Most people do the reverse and wonder why they don't fit well
The Top Ten Ways To Be Happy In Your Work,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots
(This seems like a simple idea, but many times we do work for many other reasons)
2. Decide for yourself what kind of work best fits you.
(There is no shortage of people who will tell you what to do, but this decision should come from you since you will be the one doing the work)
3. Make your work align with the rest of your life, and you won't notice the difference anymore between vocation and vacation.
(First decide what your vision of your perfect day will be and how that will integrate with the rest of your life)
4. Decide what culture best fits you!
(Most people do the reverse and wonder why they don't fit well)
5. Select work which you have a passion to be an expert at.
(Better to be an expert in one area vs. just average in many)
6. Listen to your positive inner voice,the brain will be much more attuned to remember things.
(The inner you will always guide you towards the right work for you if you listen carefully)
7. Become more self-aware make sure that your work aligns with your values and personal goals.
(Many people spend their lives at work which has nothing to do with what is most important to them)
8. Pursue the work which best aligns your abilities (which you are motivated to do) with your deep interests,How may I help you.
(This is much better then pursuing just the money or the job or the career which has a limited time horizon)
9. Be prepared to make big change when doing right work.
(Many times a change in location, lifestyle, and or relationship might be needed to allow for new change in one's work)
10. Have relationships which nurture you and your work,if we hope to be happy and successful..
(Spending time with people who do not respect your work will drain you)
Follow these steps and you will be happy forever in your work! This seems like a life pursuing, don't you think!
I'll be cheering you on as you go!
Craig Nathanson
(This seems like a simple idea, but many times we do work for many other reasons)
2. Decide for yourself what kind of work best fits you.
(There is no shortage of people who will tell you what to do, but this decision should come from you since you will be the one doing the work)
3. Make your work align with the rest of your life, and you won't notice the difference anymore between vocation and vacation.
(First decide what your vision of your perfect day will be and how that will integrate with the rest of your life)
4. Decide what culture best fits you!
(Most people do the reverse and wonder why they don't fit well)
5. Select work which you have a passion to be an expert at.
(Better to be an expert in one area vs. just average in many)
6. Listen to your positive inner voice,the brain will be much more attuned to remember things.
(The inner you will always guide you towards the right work for you if you listen carefully)
7. Become more self-aware make sure that your work aligns with your values and personal goals.
(Many people spend their lives at work which has nothing to do with what is most important to them)
8. Pursue the work which best aligns your abilities (which you are motivated to do) with your deep interests,How may I help you.
(This is much better then pursuing just the money or the job or the career which has a limited time horizon)
9. Be prepared to make big change when doing right work.
(Many times a change in location, lifestyle, and or relationship might be needed to allow for new change in one's work)
10. Have relationships which nurture you and your work,if we hope to be happy and successful..
(Spending time with people who do not respect your work will drain you)
Follow these steps and you will be happy forever in your work! This seems like a life pursuing, don't you think!
I'll be cheering you on as you go!
Craig Nathanson
Sunday, November 11, 2012
with a compatible partner
Experiences from ‘The Flow’(16)
*Below is the sixteenth episode in a series of real life events experienced by the author. The only deviations from the truth may be the names of people and places. These stories are also incorporated in "My Friend Yu – the Prosperity Mentor: Book II," Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing. Release Date: 2008.
Unless there is a realistic belief that more Pluses will be added and some Minuses will be deleted (effectively swaying your relationship into a positive tipping of Your Scale toward Compatibility), Neutral Relationships are not worth the time, effort, money, and emotion.
Here's why…
In the last article, "Experiences from ‘The Flow'(15) - Farang: Interpretation of Your Results,stroke and many others. There are several diagnoses in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual IV," we began discussing Neutral Relationships.
Next, I provided a word of caution about avoiding a false sense of security and describing a normal Western/Asian Neutral Relationship.
Then you were introduced to "kiks" (Pronounced "geeks," a Thai word for "mistress or side-girlfriend/boyfriend) and the kind of life they lead.
Lastly, we talked about some historical perspectives on relationships.
In this article, we will explore the reasons why Neutral Relationships still exist today and why these types of relationships are better left alone.
- Perpetuation of Neutral Relationships -
Unlike the past when Neutral Relationships proliferated in order to survive harsh living conditions, there are still many Neutral Relationships today that are not based on mere survival.
Why? Ignorance.
Some people, especially in less modernized countries, simply don't know any better. They are stuck in a cultural/economic trap.
In all Asian countries, especially in the rural areas, existence that's above mere survival is still the "Holy Grail," the lofty goal that only a few people can attain. Busy trying to survive, these people have not been taught about all of the human joys that a relationship (with a compatible partner) can generate. They've been sheltered from any notions of seeking and obtaining long-term happiness from any relationship.
Since plain ole' "hand to mouth" or "paycheck to paycheck" survival is their reality, anything more than that is considered over and above the main purpose of coupling with a mate.
In fact, most people from rural Asia are overjoyed to have ANY partner - much less a partner who makes them happy.
They can't afford to be picky.
- Fear vs. Desire -
Another big reason why Neutral Relationships still abound is fear (specifically fear vs. desire).
Fear of being alone (a true phobia of loneliness) causes many to stay in Neutral relationships. In those cases, the fear of loneliness dwarfs the desire for all else. Yes, these people may secretly yearn for an exciting or fulfilling relationship, but the thought of "being alone" terrifies them.
Ironically, most of these people don't realize that being alone does not automatically lead to loneliness.
- Aside: Recommended Reading -
If you are one of those people - meaning: a person who doesn't know how to be happy with yourself, by yourself, I urge you to read the articles: "How Dare She! Out of Desperation I Learned How to Forgive" and "Remember Who You Are!" They are two of my most popular/widely read articles.
Really, if you are one of those people who feel like "half a person," or simply go stir-crazy (or depressed, or lonely) when you are alone, please read those articles.
They will help you realize that being alone is not the end of the world and can actually be liberating.
I wrote those articles last year when I was trying to cope with the antics of my last girlfriend. Initially, with acidic sarcasm, but now with humorous irony (even affection); I dubbed her "The Magician" – a professional escape artist/disappearing act specialist!
I was extremely lonely and unhappy, simply miserable.
Since I knew that all human suffering can be traced down to an error in thought (i.e., a point of view that serves no positive purpose), I desperately searched for my own personal answers.
In the articles, I point toward the Illusive Secret of Happiness – Yourself.
I teach you how to regain the power (YOUR POWER) that you have unconsciously given to someone (or something else).
Okay, back to the current discussion.
A large percentage of the population prefers being alone.
Others, myself included, demand my own personal time everyday. I openly acknowledge this need for personal reflection/creative time. More so than most, I feel like something is definitely wrong when I'm too busy to have time for myself.
I require this time alone to think, exercise, read, and write everyday. My partner knows this and we schedule our day accordingly. She usually does something she wants to do (happily, not grudgingly) during the alone time.
I asked a friend of mine, "Why do you stay with her even though she does nothing for you?"
He said, "I just like having her around. We never DO anything, but at least I'm not alone."
Until he changes his own personal philosophy on relationships (or she goes overboard on Minus items), I'm sure his situation – and future situations - will be the same.
Most likely, in my friend's case, his girlfriend will take whatever she can get and move on. It's happened before and I'm certain it will happen again,Who cares.
Oh well, it's his life.
- The Scorpion and the Frog -
Once there was a scorpion and a frog beside a river. Since the scorpion could not swim well, he asked the frog for a piggyback ride across the river.
"If I give you a ride, you will sting me, and I will die," says the frog.
"Why would I do that? If I sting you while riding on your back,ideas in his chosen subject that have ever been, we will both die," says the scorpion.
So, the frog agrees to take the scorpion across the river.
Half-way across the river, the scorpion raises his tail and delivers a fatal sting.
"Why did you sting me? Now we will both die," the frog gasps.
"Because it's my nature," says the scorpion.
And with that, the scorpion stings himself.
Remember this: You can never change anyone's basic nature unless it's their idea in the first place. In spite of external prodding or pressure, people don't change unless they want to.
And, for complex reasons I may never understand, some people plainly self-destruct!
You must accept this fact. Not doing so invites chronic disappointment in your life – to stay.
- Being Alone vs. Neutral Relationships -
Let me spend a little time now extolling the virtues of being alone versus being in a Neutral Relationship.
Think of this.
There is no movement on Your Satisfaction Scale. This means you are neither overtly compatible, nor grossly incompatible. There's no "Run away now!" repulsion; but there's also no strong attraction either.
Neutral.
You can get this level of compatibility from any perfect stranger!
Why invest so much of your time, money, and emotions into a Neutral Relationship where your net level of compatibility equals that of a stranger?
Think. Think hard!
With a stranger, no give and take has taken place yet.
Meaning: a stranger hasn't already drained any personal resources from you!
Why escalate your commitment in a Neutral Relationship when the net relationship benefits (Pluses less Minuses) equal those of a stranger?
Bottom line on Neutral Relationships?
Unless there is a realistic belief that more Pluses will be added and some Minuses will be deleted (effectively changing the relationship into a Positive tipping of Your Scale), Neutral Relationships are not worth the time, effort, money, and emotion.
It's your choice. You can keep pouring your precious life energy into a Neutral Relationship,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots, or you can get off your duff and get some Pluses for the Pluses you are giving from another person.
- Change Your Scale -
If you're in a Neutral Relationship, I hope I've provided enough rationale in this article to motivate you to change the picture of Your Scale. Hopefully, you are making Your Scale sway toward Compatibility - constantly adding Pluses and deleting Minuses.
Additionally, if need be, I trust that you now have the fortitude to walk away from a Neutral Relationship that shows no signs of changing.
(Continued in "Experiences from ‘The Flow'(17) - Farang: Further Interpretation. Lopsided Scales.")
"Until next time, find ‘The Flow' and jump in!"
Your Friend in this Intrepid Journey called Life,
Carl "J.C." Pantejo
Farang, Asia, neutral, net benefit, ignorance, fear, desire, relationship, pluses, minuses, compatibility, satisfaction, scale, needs, desires.
Note: If you want to read more about Asian and Western cultural differences, finding unconditional love, exorcising past personal demons, and the Illusive Secret of Happiness, please read the following articles:
"Experiences from ‘The Flow': From Heartbreak to Happiness"
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (2): Coincidence or Synchronicity: FROM RELAPSE TO MIRACLES..."
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (3): LOST AND FOUND - Kindred Spirits and Mistakes made in Haste."
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (4): LOST AND FOUND – Meant to Be?"
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (5): "The Stray"
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (6): "New Beginnings, Old Endings"
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (7) - Living Well? Farangs and Finance: The Myth"
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (8) Living Well? Farangs and Finance: The Reality, Stupidity, and Hard Knocks."
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (9): New Girlfriend, New Life."
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (10): Farangs and Asians – Polarized Views."
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (11) - Farangs: In (or considering) a long-term Western/Asian Relationship? Read This Now!
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (12) - Farang: Square Peg, Round Hole? Compatibility Issues."
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (13) - Farang: Compatibility Issues II"
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (14) - Farang: Tipping the Scales. Good or Bad?"
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (15) - Farang: Interpretation of Your Results."
"How Dare She! Out of Desperation I Learned How to Forgive"
"Remember Who You Are!"
"Need to Heal Your Broken Heart? Read on. Overcome Heartbreak and Learn the Illusive Secret of Happiness."
(By Carl "J.C." Pantejo and published internet-wide, keyword: [title of article] or "Carl Pantejo")
*Below is the sixteenth episode in a series of real life events experienced by the author. The only deviations from the truth may be the names of people and places. These stories are also incorporated in "My Friend Yu – the Prosperity Mentor: Book II," Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing. Release Date: 2008.
Unless there is a realistic belief that more Pluses will be added and some Minuses will be deleted (effectively swaying your relationship into a positive tipping of Your Scale toward Compatibility), Neutral Relationships are not worth the time, effort, money, and emotion.
Here's why…
In the last article, "Experiences from ‘The Flow'(15) - Farang: Interpretation of Your Results,stroke and many others. There are several diagnoses in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual IV," we began discussing Neutral Relationships.
Next, I provided a word of caution about avoiding a false sense of security and describing a normal Western/Asian Neutral Relationship.
Then you were introduced to "kiks" (Pronounced "geeks," a Thai word for "mistress or side-girlfriend/boyfriend) and the kind of life they lead.
Lastly, we talked about some historical perspectives on relationships.
In this article, we will explore the reasons why Neutral Relationships still exist today and why these types of relationships are better left alone.
- Perpetuation of Neutral Relationships -
Unlike the past when Neutral Relationships proliferated in order to survive harsh living conditions, there are still many Neutral Relationships today that are not based on mere survival.
Why? Ignorance.
Some people, especially in less modernized countries, simply don't know any better. They are stuck in a cultural/economic trap.
In all Asian countries, especially in the rural areas, existence that's above mere survival is still the "Holy Grail," the lofty goal that only a few people can attain. Busy trying to survive, these people have not been taught about all of the human joys that a relationship (with a compatible partner) can generate. They've been sheltered from any notions of seeking and obtaining long-term happiness from any relationship.
Since plain ole' "hand to mouth" or "paycheck to paycheck" survival is their reality, anything more than that is considered over and above the main purpose of coupling with a mate.
In fact, most people from rural Asia are overjoyed to have ANY partner - much less a partner who makes them happy.
They can't afford to be picky.
- Fear vs. Desire -
Another big reason why Neutral Relationships still abound is fear (specifically fear vs. desire).
Fear of being alone (a true phobia of loneliness) causes many to stay in Neutral relationships. In those cases, the fear of loneliness dwarfs the desire for all else. Yes, these people may secretly yearn for an exciting or fulfilling relationship, but the thought of "being alone" terrifies them.
Ironically, most of these people don't realize that being alone does not automatically lead to loneliness.
- Aside: Recommended Reading -
If you are one of those people - meaning: a person who doesn't know how to be happy with yourself, by yourself, I urge you to read the articles: "How Dare She! Out of Desperation I Learned How to Forgive" and "Remember Who You Are!" They are two of my most popular/widely read articles.
Really, if you are one of those people who feel like "half a person," or simply go stir-crazy (or depressed, or lonely) when you are alone, please read those articles.
They will help you realize that being alone is not the end of the world and can actually be liberating.
I wrote those articles last year when I was trying to cope with the antics of my last girlfriend. Initially, with acidic sarcasm, but now with humorous irony (even affection); I dubbed her "The Magician" – a professional escape artist/disappearing act specialist!
I was extremely lonely and unhappy, simply miserable.
Since I knew that all human suffering can be traced down to an error in thought (i.e., a point of view that serves no positive purpose), I desperately searched for my own personal answers.
In the articles, I point toward the Illusive Secret of Happiness – Yourself.
I teach you how to regain the power (YOUR POWER) that you have unconsciously given to someone (or something else).
Okay, back to the current discussion.
A large percentage of the population prefers being alone.
Others, myself included, demand my own personal time everyday. I openly acknowledge this need for personal reflection/creative time. More so than most, I feel like something is definitely wrong when I'm too busy to have time for myself.
I require this time alone to think, exercise, read, and write everyday. My partner knows this and we schedule our day accordingly. She usually does something she wants to do (happily, not grudgingly) during the alone time.
I asked a friend of mine, "Why do you stay with her even though she does nothing for you?"
He said, "I just like having her around. We never DO anything, but at least I'm not alone."
Until he changes his own personal philosophy on relationships (or she goes overboard on Minus items), I'm sure his situation – and future situations - will be the same.
Most likely, in my friend's case, his girlfriend will take whatever she can get and move on. It's happened before and I'm certain it will happen again,Who cares.
Oh well, it's his life.
- The Scorpion and the Frog -
Once there was a scorpion and a frog beside a river. Since the scorpion could not swim well, he asked the frog for a piggyback ride across the river.
"If I give you a ride, you will sting me, and I will die," says the frog.
"Why would I do that? If I sting you while riding on your back,ideas in his chosen subject that have ever been, we will both die," says the scorpion.
So, the frog agrees to take the scorpion across the river.
Half-way across the river, the scorpion raises his tail and delivers a fatal sting.
"Why did you sting me? Now we will both die," the frog gasps.
"Because it's my nature," says the scorpion.
And with that, the scorpion stings himself.
Remember this: You can never change anyone's basic nature unless it's their idea in the first place. In spite of external prodding or pressure, people don't change unless they want to.
And, for complex reasons I may never understand, some people plainly self-destruct!
You must accept this fact. Not doing so invites chronic disappointment in your life – to stay.
- Being Alone vs. Neutral Relationships -
Let me spend a little time now extolling the virtues of being alone versus being in a Neutral Relationship.
Think of this.
There is no movement on Your Satisfaction Scale. This means you are neither overtly compatible, nor grossly incompatible. There's no "Run away now!" repulsion; but there's also no strong attraction either.
Neutral.
You can get this level of compatibility from any perfect stranger!
Why invest so much of your time, money, and emotions into a Neutral Relationship where your net level of compatibility equals that of a stranger?
Think. Think hard!
With a stranger, no give and take has taken place yet.
Meaning: a stranger hasn't already drained any personal resources from you!
Why escalate your commitment in a Neutral Relationship when the net relationship benefits (Pluses less Minuses) equal those of a stranger?
Bottom line on Neutral Relationships?
Unless there is a realistic belief that more Pluses will be added and some Minuses will be deleted (effectively changing the relationship into a Positive tipping of Your Scale), Neutral Relationships are not worth the time, effort, money, and emotion.
It's your choice. You can keep pouring your precious life energy into a Neutral Relationship,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots, or you can get off your duff and get some Pluses for the Pluses you are giving from another person.
- Change Your Scale -
If you're in a Neutral Relationship, I hope I've provided enough rationale in this article to motivate you to change the picture of Your Scale. Hopefully, you are making Your Scale sway toward Compatibility - constantly adding Pluses and deleting Minuses.
Additionally, if need be, I trust that you now have the fortitude to walk away from a Neutral Relationship that shows no signs of changing.
(Continued in "Experiences from ‘The Flow'(17) - Farang: Further Interpretation. Lopsided Scales.")
"Until next time, find ‘The Flow' and jump in!"
Your Friend in this Intrepid Journey called Life,
Carl "J.C." Pantejo
Farang, Asia, neutral, net benefit, ignorance, fear, desire, relationship, pluses, minuses, compatibility, satisfaction, scale, needs, desires.
Note: If you want to read more about Asian and Western cultural differences, finding unconditional love, exorcising past personal demons, and the Illusive Secret of Happiness, please read the following articles:
"Experiences from ‘The Flow': From Heartbreak to Happiness"
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (2): Coincidence or Synchronicity: FROM RELAPSE TO MIRACLES..."
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (3): LOST AND FOUND - Kindred Spirits and Mistakes made in Haste."
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (4): LOST AND FOUND – Meant to Be?"
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (5): "The Stray"
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (6): "New Beginnings, Old Endings"
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (7) - Living Well? Farangs and Finance: The Myth"
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (8) Living Well? Farangs and Finance: The Reality, Stupidity, and Hard Knocks."
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (9): New Girlfriend, New Life."
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (10): Farangs and Asians – Polarized Views."
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (11) - Farangs: In (or considering) a long-term Western/Asian Relationship? Read This Now!
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (12) - Farang: Square Peg, Round Hole? Compatibility Issues."
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (13) - Farang: Compatibility Issues II"
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (14) - Farang: Tipping the Scales. Good or Bad?"
"Experiences from ‘The Flow' (15) - Farang: Interpretation of Your Results."
"How Dare She! Out of Desperation I Learned How to Forgive"
"Remember Who You Are!"
"Need to Heal Your Broken Heart? Read on. Overcome Heartbreak and Learn the Illusive Secret of Happiness."
(By Carl "J.C." Pantejo and published internet-wide, keyword: [title of article] or "Carl Pantejo")
Friday, November 9, 2012
the inability to concentrate
Stress Management Techniques for Stress
Stress is a term employed in psychology for describing a malady marked by a state of alarm, increased adrenaline production, fatigue, irritability, muscle rigidity, the inability to concentrate, and various physical side effects like headaches and accelerated heart rate. The affliction is thought to be caused by inability on the part of a human being,If you do, to suitably respond to emotional, as well as physical dangers, either real or imagined. As it is, the problem covers a wide array of phenomena, which may possibly range from mild irritation to severe dysfunction, and may possibly result in an extreme physical breakdown. Stress can exhibit a vast array of conditions that could be physical, cognitive, emotional, and behavioral.
The term was first coined within the 1930s by the well recognized endocrinologist Hans Selye,If you find yourself in this situation. The term was later broadened as well as made popular. It later included inappropriate physiological responses to any particular issue.
Stress is rapidly becoming one of the biggest health problems today. The rise in competition, hectic lifestyles and workplace conditions are some of the major factors towards the rising amounts of stress in our society. This has also led to an alarming rise in several other psychological conditions and ailments too.
Since it is such a serious situation and constant stress might lead to a number of psychological difficulties, it is crucial to work on your stress levels. The following are a few stress management techniques, which may provide some help:
One of your best friends, when faced having a stressful situation is developing a positive attitude. Look at the glass as half full, not half empty. This will assist you in reviving your senses and looking at a specific situation from a new perspective. This will also help you to create a solution for the issue that's causing all the stress.
Another thing to do is to change your emphasis from the condition,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots. Engage yourself in activities that you love, for example playing a sport, watching movies, listening to music etc. But, while you do so, it is essential that you do not think of the situation that is causing all the stress.
Spending time with your family, especially your kids, can also supply you with a lot of relief from stress. Playing with your pets also has the same stress relieving affect,the first thing that comes to mind is meditation. Try to forget about your worries, while you do so you'll discover yourself in a better state to deal with any stressful situation. It can be hard, but with conscious effort, you can let go of more and more of your worries.
An additional fantastic method to relieve stress is by practicing yoga. A session of yoga will help you calm down your anxiety levels and lowers the level of stress. As a matter of fact, in recent times, numerous businesses are running Yoga sessions to decrease the level of stress in their employees.
The stress management techniques outlined in this article have been proven to assist decrease stress. However, you should realize that these stress management techniques will perform only when you wish to get out of a stressful condition.
Stress is a term employed in psychology for describing a malady marked by a state of alarm, increased adrenaline production, fatigue, irritability, muscle rigidity, the inability to concentrate, and various physical side effects like headaches and accelerated heart rate. The affliction is thought to be caused by inability on the part of a human being,If you do, to suitably respond to emotional, as well as physical dangers, either real or imagined. As it is, the problem covers a wide array of phenomena, which may possibly range from mild irritation to severe dysfunction, and may possibly result in an extreme physical breakdown. Stress can exhibit a vast array of conditions that could be physical, cognitive, emotional, and behavioral.
The term was first coined within the 1930s by the well recognized endocrinologist Hans Selye,If you find yourself in this situation. The term was later broadened as well as made popular. It later included inappropriate physiological responses to any particular issue.
Stress is rapidly becoming one of the biggest health problems today. The rise in competition, hectic lifestyles and workplace conditions are some of the major factors towards the rising amounts of stress in our society. This has also led to an alarming rise in several other psychological conditions and ailments too.
Since it is such a serious situation and constant stress might lead to a number of psychological difficulties, it is crucial to work on your stress levels. The following are a few stress management techniques, which may provide some help:
One of your best friends, when faced having a stressful situation is developing a positive attitude. Look at the glass as half full, not half empty. This will assist you in reviving your senses and looking at a specific situation from a new perspective. This will also help you to create a solution for the issue that's causing all the stress.
Another thing to do is to change your emphasis from the condition,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots. Engage yourself in activities that you love, for example playing a sport, watching movies, listening to music etc. But, while you do so, it is essential that you do not think of the situation that is causing all the stress.
Spending time with your family, especially your kids, can also supply you with a lot of relief from stress. Playing with your pets also has the same stress relieving affect,the first thing that comes to mind is meditation. Try to forget about your worries, while you do so you'll discover yourself in a better state to deal with any stressful situation. It can be hard, but with conscious effort, you can let go of more and more of your worries.
An additional fantastic method to relieve stress is by practicing yoga. A session of yoga will help you calm down your anxiety levels and lowers the level of stress. As a matter of fact, in recent times, numerous businesses are running Yoga sessions to decrease the level of stress in their employees.
The stress management techniques outlined in this article have been proven to assist decrease stress. However, you should realize that these stress management techniques will perform only when you wish to get out of a stressful condition.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Then you try again this time employing a different method.
Why Failure is Good for You
How do you view failure? Do you see it as something negative
that you don't want to be associated with or do you see it as
something positive? Most people in the world don't like failure.
Fear of failure is the main reason why more than 80% of people
in the world are not prepared to change their circumstances.
Why do people fear failure so much? The reason for this is
because people don't understand the dynamics involved in
success and failure.
Everything we do in life has either a right way of doing it and
a wrong way of doing it. When we do it the right way we meet with
success. Needless to say that when we do it the wrong way we are
unsuccessful. Understanding this is important because it puts
failure in its proper perspective and removes the fear around it.
When someone who doesn't understand this dynamic meets with
temporary failure he gives up thinking that he is not good
enough or that he will never make it. But is this really what it
is? Does the fact that you didn't make it the first time mean
that you are not good enough? Does it mean that you'll never
make it? Not at all! All it means is YOU HAVE NOT FOUND THE
CORRECT METHOD YET!
So what do you do next,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots?You go back and try and find out where
you went wrong.
Then you try again this time employing a different method.
When this doesn't work you go back and look at everything you
have done so far. Talk to successful people who have made it in
this area.
Think of what you might have left out and try again. Whatever
you do, don't give up.
Why do you need to do this? Because, "Every failure, every
adversity and every heartache, carries with it the seed of an
equivalent or a greater benefit," says author and mentor to
many great men, Napoleon Hill,This is normal. Failure contains the seed of
victory and of success.
Failure teaches you what works and what doesn't,and presto--you've got 1. When you study
the reasons for your failure and learn from it, you'll find the
key to your success. The great inventor Thomas Edison knew this
truth better than anyone else. It took Edison 8000 trials to
perfect the Edison battery? Afterwards he uttered this famous
quote, "At least we know 8000 things that don't work."
You should also be like that. Every successful person has had
to overcome temporary defeat at one time or another. Know
this! You haven't really failed until you ACCEPT defeat. Do you
envy those who got success easily? Don't! Success earned in
spite of earlier failure is so much sweeter than if you would
get it otherwise.
Those who earn success in this way know the road to success.
They are not afraid of losing what they have because they have
learned how to become successful. Those that easily got success
don't know the road.
They got there so quickly that they didn't bother to look around,we're all insane. Does this sound familiar.
Let me use the following analogy to illustrate. Take two guys
traveling to the same destination, with this difference. The one
is going by airplane and the other by car, but the one arriving
by car had a few breakdowns along the way.
If you take these two guys back to their original position and
ask them to find their way to their destination, who do you
think is going to remember the road better the next time?
Surely the guy who had a few breakdowns and spend some time on
the road, because he had the opportunity to look around.
Let temporary defeat no longer be an obstacle. You have many
hidden talents, so start working towards realizing your dreams.
Don't be put off by the fear of failure. Failure is an ally
because it contains the seed of success.
How do you view failure? Do you see it as something negative
that you don't want to be associated with or do you see it as
something positive? Most people in the world don't like failure.
Fear of failure is the main reason why more than 80% of people
in the world are not prepared to change their circumstances.
Why do people fear failure so much? The reason for this is
because people don't understand the dynamics involved in
success and failure.
Everything we do in life has either a right way of doing it and
a wrong way of doing it. When we do it the right way we meet with
success. Needless to say that when we do it the wrong way we are
unsuccessful. Understanding this is important because it puts
failure in its proper perspective and removes the fear around it.
When someone who doesn't understand this dynamic meets with
temporary failure he gives up thinking that he is not good
enough or that he will never make it. But is this really what it
is? Does the fact that you didn't make it the first time mean
that you are not good enough? Does it mean that you'll never
make it? Not at all! All it means is YOU HAVE NOT FOUND THE
CORRECT METHOD YET!
So what do you do next,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots?You go back and try and find out where
you went wrong.
Then you try again this time employing a different method.
When this doesn't work you go back and look at everything you
have done so far. Talk to successful people who have made it in
this area.
Think of what you might have left out and try again. Whatever
you do, don't give up.
Why do you need to do this? Because, "Every failure, every
adversity and every heartache, carries with it the seed of an
equivalent or a greater benefit," says author and mentor to
many great men, Napoleon Hill,This is normal. Failure contains the seed of
victory and of success.
Failure teaches you what works and what doesn't,and presto--you've got 1. When you study
the reasons for your failure and learn from it, you'll find the
key to your success. The great inventor Thomas Edison knew this
truth better than anyone else. It took Edison 8000 trials to
perfect the Edison battery? Afterwards he uttered this famous
quote, "At least we know 8000 things that don't work."
You should also be like that. Every successful person has had
to overcome temporary defeat at one time or another. Know
this! You haven't really failed until you ACCEPT defeat. Do you
envy those who got success easily? Don't! Success earned in
spite of earlier failure is so much sweeter than if you would
get it otherwise.
Those who earn success in this way know the road to success.
They are not afraid of losing what they have because they have
learned how to become successful. Those that easily got success
don't know the road.
They got there so quickly that they didn't bother to look around,we're all insane. Does this sound familiar.
Let me use the following analogy to illustrate. Take two guys
traveling to the same destination, with this difference. The one
is going by airplane and the other by car, but the one arriving
by car had a few breakdowns along the way.
If you take these two guys back to their original position and
ask them to find their way to their destination, who do you
think is going to remember the road better the next time?
Surely the guy who had a few breakdowns and spend some time on
the road, because he had the opportunity to look around.
Let temporary defeat no longer be an obstacle. You have many
hidden talents, so start working towards realizing your dreams.
Don't be put off by the fear of failure. Failure is an ally
because it contains the seed of success.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
fears of being abandoned
Most Problems We Face As Adults Are Not Adult Problems by Gary K. Robertson
In several decades of working in the mental health field, I've learned that when people look for help, the most common areas are: relationships, career, and personal performance. Specifically, they are issues like self-esteem, fears of being abandoned, insecurities, dependencies, being controlled by others, and never getting to the point of deciding who we want to be when we grow up.
What I've found most useful is to look at the groupings of client issues as related to specific challenges we all began facing in childhood. Master them all and we have all the capabilities that we envisioned when we were little,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots. Fail to master the fundamental four cornerstones and we continue having these same problems for the remainder of our lives.
One key factor is that they come to us in sequence, and demand that we incorporate the vital skills at each stage because they are required in order to tackle the next one successfully,upbringing. It's like in grade school, we had to learn how to read in order to be able to write. And we need them both when it comes to learning arithmetic. Sequential building blocks, when it comes to skill acquisition.
Likewise, we need connection issues resolved before we can work on becoming autonomous. Insecurities, fears about having enough, and low self-esteem must be resolved in order to cut the cord and begin living autonomously on our own terms. Without autonomy, we never think for ourselves,600 minutes and 531, needing continual help from parental types like counselors, talk show hosts,ultimately determining your level of happiness at home, ministers, peers, and experts all too willing to do our thinking for us. For a price. And we have to pay that price because our thinkers never get fully turned on. How's that for a simple explanation for why adults have so much trouble agreeing on anything? And it also explains why trying to manage, counsel, or otherwise use the mind to heal the mind doesn't work.
As obnoxious as our first attempts at gaining personal power were to our parents, we really do need to learn how to get what we want from others. The only clean was is to ask for what we want from those who have it. Otherwise we learn control games, intimidation tactics, entitlement, seduction, cons, and playing victim.
But accommodations like these are ultimately unsuccessful in pursuit of gaining enough personal power to take on the fourth challenge—to decide who we are as individuals. Unique. Valued. Self motivated. Independent. Having no need for others to tell us what to think, how to manage our lives, or how to behave. In other words, having our own identity.
Once again, the fundamental four challenges are: connection, autonomy, personal power, and identity. Each requires mastery of the preceding ones for completion. When we live by deciding who we are as human beings as well as spiritual beings having a human experience, we get to do what gurus like Wayne Dyer, Neale Donald Walsch, and Ekhart Tolle say we are capable of doing. But they don't seem to realize that most of us have not developed sufficient developmental capabilities to make it happen. It's like they're telling us how to do advanced calculus before we've mastered reading, adding and subtraction.
So how many of us made it all the way to being real grownups? Experts say it's about 14%. The rest of us are still working to get there. Playing dress up grownups, just like we did back when we were raiding our parents closets, trying on shoes way too big, experimenting with lipstick, and trying on daddy's military uniform.
Meanwhile the push to continue growing to become fully functional never allows us to stop—until we get there. And the master plan requires that we continue growing throughout our Earthly existence. Becoming a grownup is just one of the major milestones along the way from birth to grave.
Want to know how well you've done so far at mastering the foundational challenges? Take this free test: You get a score right away that will indicate how well you mastered these crucial skills.
In several decades of working in the mental health field, I've learned that when people look for help, the most common areas are: relationships, career, and personal performance. Specifically, they are issues like self-esteem, fears of being abandoned, insecurities, dependencies, being controlled by others, and never getting to the point of deciding who we want to be when we grow up.
What I've found most useful is to look at the groupings of client issues as related to specific challenges we all began facing in childhood. Master them all and we have all the capabilities that we envisioned when we were little,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots. Fail to master the fundamental four cornerstones and we continue having these same problems for the remainder of our lives.
One key factor is that they come to us in sequence, and demand that we incorporate the vital skills at each stage because they are required in order to tackle the next one successfully,upbringing. It's like in grade school, we had to learn how to read in order to be able to write. And we need them both when it comes to learning arithmetic. Sequential building blocks, when it comes to skill acquisition.
Likewise, we need connection issues resolved before we can work on becoming autonomous. Insecurities, fears about having enough, and low self-esteem must be resolved in order to cut the cord and begin living autonomously on our own terms. Without autonomy, we never think for ourselves,600 minutes and 531, needing continual help from parental types like counselors, talk show hosts,ultimately determining your level of happiness at home, ministers, peers, and experts all too willing to do our thinking for us. For a price. And we have to pay that price because our thinkers never get fully turned on. How's that for a simple explanation for why adults have so much trouble agreeing on anything? And it also explains why trying to manage, counsel, or otherwise use the mind to heal the mind doesn't work.
As obnoxious as our first attempts at gaining personal power were to our parents, we really do need to learn how to get what we want from others. The only clean was is to ask for what we want from those who have it. Otherwise we learn control games, intimidation tactics, entitlement, seduction, cons, and playing victim.
But accommodations like these are ultimately unsuccessful in pursuit of gaining enough personal power to take on the fourth challenge—to decide who we are as individuals. Unique. Valued. Self motivated. Independent. Having no need for others to tell us what to think, how to manage our lives, or how to behave. In other words, having our own identity.
Once again, the fundamental four challenges are: connection, autonomy, personal power, and identity. Each requires mastery of the preceding ones for completion. When we live by deciding who we are as human beings as well as spiritual beings having a human experience, we get to do what gurus like Wayne Dyer, Neale Donald Walsch, and Ekhart Tolle say we are capable of doing. But they don't seem to realize that most of us have not developed sufficient developmental capabilities to make it happen. It's like they're telling us how to do advanced calculus before we've mastered reading, adding and subtraction.
So how many of us made it all the way to being real grownups? Experts say it's about 14%. The rest of us are still working to get there. Playing dress up grownups, just like we did back when we were raiding our parents closets, trying on shoes way too big, experimenting with lipstick, and trying on daddy's military uniform.
Meanwhile the push to continue growing to become fully functional never allows us to stop—until we get there. And the master plan requires that we continue growing throughout our Earthly existence. Becoming a grownup is just one of the major milestones along the way from birth to grave.
Want to know how well you've done so far at mastering the foundational challenges? Take this free test: You get a score right away that will indicate how well you mastered these crucial skills.
Monday, November 5, 2012
The good news is that you can do something about it. Whatever your age
IQ. Does It Really Matter? by Dr. Lawrence Nash
For over a full century, western culture has become increasingly inclined to embrace various IQ measurements as strong predictors of academic and life success across the board. However, science now tells us that there is a strong new kid on the cognitive block who carries more weight and that we would do well to cultivate him.
History of IQ
Several generations have now been pigeonholed by the IQ mindset, against the advice of its creators Simon and Binet. In 1904 it was an avante-garde approach to assessment of individual mental ability,Do You Know That Our Imperfections Are What Makes Us Beautiful, however Binet himself cautioned against misuse of the scale or misunderstanding of its implications. Its original purpose was simply to select from the average school those children who might benefit from being educated separately, and avoid the disruption they caused in the education of the intellectually normal children. It was never intended to be used as a general device ranking students as to their mental ability and worth.
Yet the IQ test is still used as the predominant measure to test cognitive abilities. That is despite the fact that it doesnt tap into the abstract thinking that we must have if we are to deal with this crazy world or sort through ambient technostress. IQ is only part of what it means to be smart,it will do you a world of good. When you're more confident.
Working Memory is the Key
Research tells us that working memory strength and not IQ is the best predictor of academic success, and might be the single most important factor in determining general intelligence.
Working memory is central to all human thought processes. It has been defined as the ability to hold information in mind while manipulating it to achieve a cognitive goal. Working memory capacity accounts for 50 to 70 percent of differences between us in raw brainpower. This has important consequences
The bad news is that when working memory is overloaded or distracted, information held there can be lost readily. This has important consequences in our ability to acquire knowledge and new skills,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots.
Independent of IQ- low working memory means poor performance on arithmetic word problems and computational skills.
independent of IQ,- low working memory means poor reading skills.
The person with poor working memory capacities will lose the battle to cope with growing demands at home, on the job and in the classroom.
The good news is that you can do something about it. Whatever your age, you can actually build new brain cells, increase your competence and confidence, increase your working memory, IQ, fluid intelligence, focus and problem solving ability.6,7
What to do
Brain Magic working memory training targets the very specific brain function which proves key to every conscious mental process. Your working memory frames the action for you whether you are reading, writing, speaking, listening, solving problems, playing an instrument,Evaluation is shown by a closed hand resting on the chin or cheek, or just plain thinking.
Your mind can grow sharper and stronger as your brain grows older and computer based training programs are proving to be the way to make it happen.
Now is the time to build up your brain reserves. It is never too late to boost critical intellectual capacities of working memory, focus, and attention.
Research has proven that we enjoy a lifelong ability to grow new brain cells. How fast we do that is influenced by cognitive activities like Brain Magic, and intense mental challenges provide extra resistance to ageing. So it is not a matter of just “use it or lose itâ€, it is train it and get more. The more you train the more you gain.
The training
The Brain Magic protocols improve the speed of both auditory processing and visual processing as well as aural memory and visual working memory. It also gives a sense of well being and confidence from your growing success that is striking.
With the Brain Magic protocol it is possible to increases working memory capacity from 50 â€" 80% while increasing fluid intelligence (a composite brain capability involving processing speed, working memory, multi-tasking and higher order processing) by an average of more than 40%.
The Brain Magic journey means ongoing growth. You will be eased into a graduated training, which leads you on your home computer and shows you how to step ahead. It consults with you and adapts to you throughout the process. Along the way, the format ripens in style and structure, and as your abilities grow, that growth leads to competence and up you go. And as the progressive training continues the gains continue.
For over a full century, western culture has become increasingly inclined to embrace various IQ measurements as strong predictors of academic and life success across the board. However, science now tells us that there is a strong new kid on the cognitive block who carries more weight and that we would do well to cultivate him.
History of IQ
Several generations have now been pigeonholed by the IQ mindset, against the advice of its creators Simon and Binet. In 1904 it was an avante-garde approach to assessment of individual mental ability,Do You Know That Our Imperfections Are What Makes Us Beautiful, however Binet himself cautioned against misuse of the scale or misunderstanding of its implications. Its original purpose was simply to select from the average school those children who might benefit from being educated separately, and avoid the disruption they caused in the education of the intellectually normal children. It was never intended to be used as a general device ranking students as to their mental ability and worth.
Yet the IQ test is still used as the predominant measure to test cognitive abilities. That is despite the fact that it doesnt tap into the abstract thinking that we must have if we are to deal with this crazy world or sort through ambient technostress. IQ is only part of what it means to be smart,it will do you a world of good. When you're more confident.
Working Memory is the Key
Research tells us that working memory strength and not IQ is the best predictor of academic success, and might be the single most important factor in determining general intelligence.
Working memory is central to all human thought processes. It has been defined as the ability to hold information in mind while manipulating it to achieve a cognitive goal. Working memory capacity accounts for 50 to 70 percent of differences between us in raw brainpower. This has important consequences
The bad news is that when working memory is overloaded or distracted, information held there can be lost readily. This has important consequences in our ability to acquire knowledge and new skills,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots.
Independent of IQ- low working memory means poor performance on arithmetic word problems and computational skills.
independent of IQ,- low working memory means poor reading skills.
The person with poor working memory capacities will lose the battle to cope with growing demands at home, on the job and in the classroom.
The good news is that you can do something about it. Whatever your age, you can actually build new brain cells, increase your competence and confidence, increase your working memory, IQ, fluid intelligence, focus and problem solving ability.6,7
What to do
Brain Magic working memory training targets the very specific brain function which proves key to every conscious mental process. Your working memory frames the action for you whether you are reading, writing, speaking, listening, solving problems, playing an instrument,Evaluation is shown by a closed hand resting on the chin or cheek, or just plain thinking.
Your mind can grow sharper and stronger as your brain grows older and computer based training programs are proving to be the way to make it happen.
Now is the time to build up your brain reserves. It is never too late to boost critical intellectual capacities of working memory, focus, and attention.
Research has proven that we enjoy a lifelong ability to grow new brain cells. How fast we do that is influenced by cognitive activities like Brain Magic, and intense mental challenges provide extra resistance to ageing. So it is not a matter of just “use it or lose itâ€, it is train it and get more. The more you train the more you gain.
The training
The Brain Magic protocols improve the speed of both auditory processing and visual processing as well as aural memory and visual working memory. It also gives a sense of well being and confidence from your growing success that is striking.
With the Brain Magic protocol it is possible to increases working memory capacity from 50 â€" 80% while increasing fluid intelligence (a composite brain capability involving processing speed, working memory, multi-tasking and higher order processing) by an average of more than 40%.
The Brain Magic journey means ongoing growth. You will be eased into a graduated training, which leads you on your home computer and shows you how to step ahead. It consults with you and adapts to you throughout the process. Along the way, the format ripens in style and structure, and as your abilities grow, that growth leads to competence and up you go. And as the progressive training continues the gains continue.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Step Four
Management Coaching: Inside the Eight Steps
We are sometimes asked why our coaching model at the Center for Management and Organization Effectiveness has eight steps. "Why so many,Throughout the world?" some wonder.
Given the pace at which most people live and work these days, we can certainly understand the question,Without training. Here is a general answer, based on the research of our founders.
The general answer:
Our research identified 47 qualities that distinguished great coaches from their opposites. To make the findings usable and practical, we chose the key themes that did the best job of teaching what we had learned, and built our management coaching model with them. Eight Step Coaching skills was born, and 25 years later it still remains our flagship workshop.
We settled on eight to make sure we did not sacrifice the important aspects of those key distinctions,research fascinating details about the individual's life. Afterwards. While on occasion we have packaged this information differently to meet client needs, the eight-step method's effectiveness is well documented.
Why does this approach work so well?
Without at least considering each of the eight steps, coaches risk bypassing key insights or areas to explore. This does not mean that every management coaching session must employ every step. Understanding all eight simply helps coaches see the big picture, and create change.
The example:
Step Three of our model is Establish Impact. Step Seven is Clarify Consequences: Don't Punish. They differ in subtle, but vital ways that almost always creates discussion in our workshops perhaps in partly because few if any other coaching models address them so specifically.
This example works best if you know some of the specific ideas we assign to these two steps. They are:
Step Three: Establish Impact
Examine perceptions
Create motivation to plan change
Ask where the current path or plan will lead
Expect discomfort, as need for change becomes clear
Step Seven: Clarify Consequences; Don't Punish
Forecast or predict outcomes of the new plan
Clarify what you (coach) will do, given outcome
Logic: New plan is a cause, its outcomes are effects
Be selective: Focus on key outcomes
In Step Three, the coach works with the other person to change immediate perceptions. Does the person being coached really "get it"? Do they have a sense of urgency? Through positive, supportive questions and great listening,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots, the coach helps the other person grasp and accept the need to change his or her thoughts and/or actions. The coach also helps the person work through the natural discomfort that often accompanies the new insight.
In Step Seven, the focus is mainly on the future. A new plan (Step Four: Initiate a Plan) is going to be used. The coach continues with a positive, interactive approach that employs questioning and listening. Now the focus is on probable results, likely outcomes on what the coach expects will result from the plan.
Although they arrive from very different directions, we call Steps Three and Seven the "bookends of motivation."
This is one of several key distinctions that the Eight Step Coaching model addresses. These distinctions clarify the coach's options, and the needs of the person being coached. In concert with the other steps they lead to real change and performance gains, adding value to your organization.
These and related ideas are discussed in much more detail in several CMOE books and publications, including The Coach, and Win-Win Partnerships. To receive a 50% discount on any of our hardbound books or 15% off your first scheduled training event please reference this article when contacting CMOE.
We are sometimes asked why our coaching model at the Center for Management and Organization Effectiveness has eight steps. "Why so many,Throughout the world?" some wonder.
Given the pace at which most people live and work these days, we can certainly understand the question,Without training. Here is a general answer, based on the research of our founders.
The general answer:
Our research identified 47 qualities that distinguished great coaches from their opposites. To make the findings usable and practical, we chose the key themes that did the best job of teaching what we had learned, and built our management coaching model with them. Eight Step Coaching skills was born, and 25 years later it still remains our flagship workshop.
We settled on eight to make sure we did not sacrifice the important aspects of those key distinctions,research fascinating details about the individual's life. Afterwards. While on occasion we have packaged this information differently to meet client needs, the eight-step method's effectiveness is well documented.
Why does this approach work so well?
Without at least considering each of the eight steps, coaches risk bypassing key insights or areas to explore. This does not mean that every management coaching session must employ every step. Understanding all eight simply helps coaches see the big picture, and create change.
The example:
Step Three of our model is Establish Impact. Step Seven is Clarify Consequences: Don't Punish. They differ in subtle, but vital ways that almost always creates discussion in our workshops perhaps in partly because few if any other coaching models address them so specifically.
This example works best if you know some of the specific ideas we assign to these two steps. They are:
Step Three: Establish Impact
Examine perceptions
Create motivation to plan change
Ask where the current path or plan will lead
Expect discomfort, as need for change becomes clear
Step Seven: Clarify Consequences; Don't Punish
Forecast or predict outcomes of the new plan
Clarify what you (coach) will do, given outcome
Logic: New plan is a cause, its outcomes are effects
Be selective: Focus on key outcomes
In Step Three, the coach works with the other person to change immediate perceptions. Does the person being coached really "get it"? Do they have a sense of urgency? Through positive, supportive questions and great listening,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots, the coach helps the other person grasp and accept the need to change his or her thoughts and/or actions. The coach also helps the person work through the natural discomfort that often accompanies the new insight.
In Step Seven, the focus is mainly on the future. A new plan (Step Four: Initiate a Plan) is going to be used. The coach continues with a positive, interactive approach that employs questioning and listening. Now the focus is on probable results, likely outcomes on what the coach expects will result from the plan.
Although they arrive from very different directions, we call Steps Three and Seven the "bookends of motivation."
This is one of several key distinctions that the Eight Step Coaching model addresses. These distinctions clarify the coach's options, and the needs of the person being coached. In concert with the other steps they lead to real change and performance gains, adding value to your organization.
These and related ideas are discussed in much more detail in several CMOE books and publications, including The Coach, and Win-Win Partnerships. To receive a 50% discount on any of our hardbound books or 15% off your first scheduled training event please reference this article when contacting CMOE.
Friday, November 2, 2012
anguish
Getting Back to the Basics of Problem Solving by Kevin Eikenberry
Everyone has problems. Big problems, little problems, work problems, relationship problems; pick an area of your life and you probably have at least one, or have had one.
At some point along the way you may have received some problem solving training. I know a little bit about that kind of training; I`ve attended some and taught some as well.
In all of those workshops, or in any book you will read on the subject,Set a schedule and stick to it. Early or late riser, you will get some great ideas. You also may get some very robust tools for solving big meaty organizational problems.
That isn`t the point of this article.
Rather, I want to share seven fundamentals with you. Regardless of your past experience with problem solving with highly structured tools or otherwise, it all starts with the fundamentals. And often it`s the fundamentals you need the most - when the problem is pressing, right in front of you and causing you frustration, stress or pressure.
These seven fundamentals will help in any problem solving situation; moving you towards better solutions, less stress and greater confidence.
The Seven Fundamentals
Is it a problem?
First things first. Is the situation you are facing really a problem? This may seem elementary, but if you can`t define what you want (and what you think you want is different than what you`ve got) it isn`t a problem. That gap between what you have and what you want helps define your problem. If you haven`t got a gap find one or let go of the situation - you are worrying or complaining for no good reason.
Name it.
The gap you have just defined helps you; but in order to solve a problem, big or small, you must be able to describe the problem in a succinct statement. Talking things out is fine to help you determine the problem, but at this point you need to name the problem and write it down. This provides clarity and focus - two things too often lacking in problem solving activities.
What`s the cause?
Too often we react to symptoms of a problem without understanding the real cause. Focusing on symptoms won`t likely solve the problem, and may make it worse. Take the time to drill down to the root cause.
Slow down (enough).
Taking time to understand the cause of the problem is part of slowing down, but it is more than that. Good problem solving requires some planning. Notice that none of the points so far are "solving steps"; rather they are "planning for solving" steps. You must adequately plan in any problem solving situation. The balance is that you must slow down enough to create a solid effective plan, but not so much that you never move to solution.
Get closer.
To better understand the problem and create an effective solution you may need to dive into the details of the situation. You may need to ask some questions, gather some data and be a bit of a detective. In other words,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots, sometimes you must get closer to the problem to understand it completely.
Step back.
Perspective is required too. If this is your problem and is causing you pain, anguish, stress, embarrassment or any other emotion, you may need better perspective. Consider stepping back, both physically and psychologically. Look at it logically and in the third person if possible. Think about it from the perspective of others (other departments, co-workers, family members, Customers - or whoever else is involved in this particular problem). That perceptive will help you create better solutions.
Get help.
The Lone Ranger had Tonto. Holmes had Watson. This isn`t just true in books or on television. Get some help in your problem solving efforts. You may naturally do this on bigger problems, but even in smaller situations another person often can provide ideas, perspective and help you wouldn`t find for yourself.
All of these fundamentals work for individuals (just like you and me) . . . AND . . . there is a clear lesson for leaders here too. Are you remembering these fundamentals and, more importantly, using and teaching them to your team members?
Often, the fundamentals will help people move forward more quickly than the detailed, documented processes from the workshop binder gathering dust on your bookshelf.
Use the detailed process when needed; just remember to always start with the fundamentals.
Remarkable leaders know problems occur and that they must be successful problem solvers. One way many aspiring and successful leaders build their problem solving skills (and many other skills too) is by participating in The Remarkable Leadership Learning System a one skill at a time,"let bygones be bygones"., one month at a time approach to becoming a more confident and successful leader. $748,Smoking.25 worth of leadership development materials including two months of that unique system will be yours when you accept Kevin's Most Remarkable Free Leadership Gift Ever today at .
Everyone has problems. Big problems, little problems, work problems, relationship problems; pick an area of your life and you probably have at least one, or have had one.
At some point along the way you may have received some problem solving training. I know a little bit about that kind of training; I`ve attended some and taught some as well.
In all of those workshops, or in any book you will read on the subject,Set a schedule and stick to it. Early or late riser, you will get some great ideas. You also may get some very robust tools for solving big meaty organizational problems.
That isn`t the point of this article.
Rather, I want to share seven fundamentals with you. Regardless of your past experience with problem solving with highly structured tools or otherwise, it all starts with the fundamentals. And often it`s the fundamentals you need the most - when the problem is pressing, right in front of you and causing you frustration, stress or pressure.
These seven fundamentals will help in any problem solving situation; moving you towards better solutions, less stress and greater confidence.
The Seven Fundamentals
Is it a problem?
First things first. Is the situation you are facing really a problem? This may seem elementary, but if you can`t define what you want (and what you think you want is different than what you`ve got) it isn`t a problem. That gap between what you have and what you want helps define your problem. If you haven`t got a gap find one or let go of the situation - you are worrying or complaining for no good reason.
Name it.
The gap you have just defined helps you; but in order to solve a problem, big or small, you must be able to describe the problem in a succinct statement. Talking things out is fine to help you determine the problem, but at this point you need to name the problem and write it down. This provides clarity and focus - two things too often lacking in problem solving activities.
What`s the cause?
Too often we react to symptoms of a problem without understanding the real cause. Focusing on symptoms won`t likely solve the problem, and may make it worse. Take the time to drill down to the root cause.
Slow down (enough).
Taking time to understand the cause of the problem is part of slowing down, but it is more than that. Good problem solving requires some planning. Notice that none of the points so far are "solving steps"; rather they are "planning for solving" steps. You must adequately plan in any problem solving situation. The balance is that you must slow down enough to create a solid effective plan, but not so much that you never move to solution.
Get closer.
To better understand the problem and create an effective solution you may need to dive into the details of the situation. You may need to ask some questions, gather some data and be a bit of a detective. In other words,3166 Ugg Sheepskin Cuff Tall Sand Boots, sometimes you must get closer to the problem to understand it completely.
Step back.
Perspective is required too. If this is your problem and is causing you pain, anguish, stress, embarrassment or any other emotion, you may need better perspective. Consider stepping back, both physically and psychologically. Look at it logically and in the third person if possible. Think about it from the perspective of others (other departments, co-workers, family members, Customers - or whoever else is involved in this particular problem). That perceptive will help you create better solutions.
Get help.
The Lone Ranger had Tonto. Holmes had Watson. This isn`t just true in books or on television. Get some help in your problem solving efforts. You may naturally do this on bigger problems, but even in smaller situations another person often can provide ideas, perspective and help you wouldn`t find for yourself.
All of these fundamentals work for individuals (just like you and me) . . . AND . . . there is a clear lesson for leaders here too. Are you remembering these fundamentals and, more importantly, using and teaching them to your team members?
Often, the fundamentals will help people move forward more quickly than the detailed, documented processes from the workshop binder gathering dust on your bookshelf.
Use the detailed process when needed; just remember to always start with the fundamentals.
Remarkable leaders know problems occur and that they must be successful problem solvers. One way many aspiring and successful leaders build their problem solving skills (and many other skills too) is by participating in The Remarkable Leadership Learning System a one skill at a time,"let bygones be bygones"., one month at a time approach to becoming a more confident and successful leader. $748,Smoking.25 worth of leadership development materials including two months of that unique system will be yours when you accept Kevin's Most Remarkable Free Leadership Gift Ever today at .
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